Sunday, March 20, 2011

They Bring Me To You

Every once in a while I play little 'what if' games in my head. What if I didn't stay in the Seacoast? What if I didn't take that job? What if we were still together? What if I went to his house that night? What if he was the one?

Its the little decisions that can make huge differences down the road and you never know it at the time. The butterfly effect. I made those decisions and at the time I thought they were right. I still do, but it doesn't stop me from wondering what if...

I have vowed that Ollie will be the one who decides who I'm going to marry. He's not a fan of most guys and its a rare thing when he is instantly comfortable with men. So if he runs up to any guy, I take notice. Currently, there are 5 men total that he doesn't freak out at. Figures, that he would be perfectly comfortable with a tall guy, in a hat, with a deep voice (all thinga that terrify him) that happens to be married...and also happens to be someone from a past life. The one that got away? Possibly.

Here's the thing: Of all the what ifs I've played out in my mind in the last few years not one of them would have led me to where I am now and they most certainly wouldn't have lead me to adopting Ollie. And that is the one what if that really matters...

"And only the heartaches have given me sight, they bring me to you." ~ Joshua Radin

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