Friday, February 18, 2011
I have had pets all my life and have always given them nicknames. They tend to deviate to the ridiculous as time goes on. It’s a thing. I’ve done it forever. It is a part of my relationship with animals. So when other people I know don’t really have nicknames for their dog/cat/rabbit/gerbil/goat…it’s just kinda feels “off.” It’s not that I think people that don’t have pet nicknames don’t care as much, it’s just that they don’t seem as invested…and maybe that’s just me.
I put a lot of time and effort into picking names for two of my pets, Sofia and Ollie. Luigi came with that name and anyone that knows him, sees how perfect it is. The hair piece wouldn’t work with any other name. I did think long and hard before naming Sofia (formally Raquelle) because I needed her to have an equally Italian name to match her brother. It only seemed right. Sofia actually means wisdom which is funny because I’ve been told she is “simple.” I disagree of course. She’s the smartest of the bunch, avoiding all the hustle and bustle of Luigi and Ollie’s antics. Ollie (formally Slim Jim) needed a new name immediately. I couldn’t have a dog that made me want to run to the Store 24 all the time and go all Macho Man Randy Savage on the snack aisle. Ollie (Oliver when he is being particularly naughty) just came to me when I was thinking of other names. It worked. His floppy ears and little strut make it work even better and I have no idea how to explain why. It just does.
They all started with the names that I gave them, but have all morphed into a lengthy list of pet names I have given them thru the years. In my opinion, pet names show a sense of love from owner to animal, an understanding of the pets best and worst qualities, their quirks, their physical characteristics, etc. They also tend to show the particular level of batshit insanity that any particular owner has related to animals/the world…and with that I give you “my list”
Oll, Olla, Fluffy, Fluff, Floof, Floofie, Floofer, Floofita (a personal favorite right now), Naughty, Asshole (to follow the phrase “You’re being an…”), Little Bud, Buddy, Bud, Little Boy, Baby Boy, Ollie Bear, Bear
Luge, Lugee, Luga, Luga Bear, Bear, Rusty (which started after he stuck his head under the sink and got rust on his white fur, the name stuck, thankfully, the rust did not), Little Boy, Rusty Bear, Stinky Butt
Sofi, Sof, Sofala, Feef, Feefala, Feefer, Fifi, Feeeeeeef, Little Girl, Pretty Girl, The Favorite (I would never actually pick a favorite, but she tends to the least amount of annoying things)
To be continued…as nicknames/new pets (haha) are added!
Monday, February 14, 2011
While I was never a fan of cleaning up poop and puke, it was pretty easy and I was getting pretty good at it with Pukey McShitsalot shacking up at 33 Bellamy Woods. In fact, I should have bought stock in Nature's Miracle, Resolve, and Bounty Paper Towels. I used them a lot...and by a lot I mean twice daily, minimum. The problem was the pee. I have a fairly sensitive sense of smell, something that I clearly did not inherent from my father. I can smell cat pee with an accuracy that is disturbing. At some point, one or both of my cats took it upon themselves to show me just how pissed they were at me, literally. They peed on the floor in my bedroom and I cleaned it up, like I said, I was getting good at it. This should have been the end of the story, but if you have ever dealt with cat piss in carpets you probably know that it has a way of coming back around once if not twice.
Very shortly after the cats peed on the floor, the snow and ice started to back up on my roof. This created ice dams and eventually created leaking into my bedroom. The leaking roof water mixed with the pee carpet and created a smell unlike any other. My dad happened to be staying at my condo the weekend that this all went down and apparently did not smell the pee. I came home from visiting Lisa in DC and smelled it as soon as I opened the door. It was gag inducing and the carpet had to go, so my mom and I ripped up a section of my bedroom carpet and threw it out. Problem solved right? Not so much...
Fast forward two winters later and the ice dams have returned. It leaked in my living room windows, in my bedroom, and in the spare bedroom...and of course there was pee in the carpets in their too. Probably from Ollie when he was little, but it doesn't smell any better than cat piss. I tried to put my dehumidifier in the room to soak up the water and turned up the heat a little to hopefully draw out the moisture. This was probably the worst possible idea I could have come up with. Not only did the dehumidifier not soak up anything from the carpet, but the heat basically baked the pee and made it hot enough to spread the scent. I came home to another gag inducing piss smell and am now hanging out with all the windows open. It's a piss factory over here and business is booming