Monday, February 14, 2011

Piss Factory

The winter after I adopted Ollie was when my cats got real mad at me. Spitefully so. There was a new kid in the house that barked and chased them and got violently ill in the form of diarrhea and vomit all over their house. Needless to say, Luigi and Sofia felt it was their God given right to shit where they pleased, lick themselves incessantly to create huge puke fur balls and deposit them wherever they thought I would step barefoot. And then there was the peeing...

While I was never a fan of cleaning up poop and puke, it was pretty easy and I was getting pretty good at it with Pukey McShitsalot shacking up at 33 Bellamy Woods. In fact, I should have bought stock in Nature's Miracle, Resolve, and Bounty Paper Towels. I used them a lot...and by a lot I mean twice daily, minimum. The problem was the pee. I have a fairly sensitive sense of smell, something that I clearly did not inherent from my father. I can smell cat pee with an accuracy that is disturbing. At some point, one or both of my cats took it upon themselves to show me just how pissed they were at me, literally. They peed on the floor in my bedroom and I cleaned it up, like I said, I was getting good at it. This should have been the end of the story, but if you have ever dealt with cat piss in carpets you probably know that it has a way of coming back around once if not twice.

Very shortly after the cats peed on the floor, the snow and ice started to back up on my roof. This created ice dams and eventually created leaking into my bedroom. The leaking roof water mixed with the pee carpet and created a smell unlike any other. My dad happened to be staying at my condo the weekend that this all went down and apparently did not smell the pee. I came home from visiting Lisa in DC and smelled it as soon as I opened the door. It was gag inducing and the carpet had to go, so my mom and I ripped up a section of my bedroom carpet and threw it out. Problem solved right? Not so much...

Fast forward two winters later and the ice dams have returned. It leaked in my living room windows, in my bedroom, and in the spare bedroom...and of course there was pee in the carpets in their too. Probably from Ollie when he was little, but it doesn't smell any better than cat piss. I tried to put my dehumidifier in the room to soak up the water and turned up the heat a little to hopefully draw out the moisture. This was probably the worst possible idea I could have come up with. Not only did the dehumidifier not soak up anything from the carpet, but the heat basically baked the pee and made it hot enough to spread the scent. I came home to another gag inducing piss smell and am now hanging out with all the windows open. It's a piss factory over here and business is booming

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